


Second chances

by PokerMix



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Angels are Not Dicks (Supernatural), Blood and Torture, Blow Jobs, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Serial Killer Dean Winchester, some smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:08:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24952807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PokerMix/pseuds/PokerMix
Summary: Castiel has received a mission from God, to convince the killer Dean Winchester to change before he dies and to prevent him from becoming an even worse demon.AU where angels are all goodness and mercy.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. First of all, I don't know much English, it's not my mother tongue, maybe there are mistakes (corrections are accepted), I'm sorry for that, but I hope you enjoy the story.  
> I'm getting better.  
> Ok something to pass the time, nothing too complicated.  
> It's already finished I'm just translating and publishing it.

Not for a second did Castiel think it would be a simple task considering that it was his father who ordered it, what he didn't expect was to be hit by a shovel on the head while he wandered near his target's hotel room.

While the stranger man was lying on the ground unconscious, Dean dropped the shovel at his side when he finally stopped moving, Dean was panting quite surprised, he would have sworn he was hitting concrete, his arms felt numb, after three blows the guy's brains should be spreading on the gravel floor and his shovel, at least he wasn't invulnerable, there was blood staining his shoes.

Be that as it may, Dean had a bigger problem than knowing why a stranger had a helmet instead of a skull, he was more focused on knowing why was someone following him? It wasn't coincidence that the same man who had been prowling around his car two days before, was looking at him that morning in the restaurant while he was having breakfast, with that weird beige coat it wasn't exactly that he went unnoticed, but when accidentally they eyes meet in the restaurant, a shiver ran down Dean's spine to meet, it was like if those penetrating blue eyes knew who he was, the real Dean Winchester, and for the first time since he was engaged his hobby Dean felt truly exposed.

He probably knew something, that's why he was following him.

He wasted no time and dragged the man to the trunk of his beloved car, inside he had duct tape with which he tied his wrists and also used a piece to cover his mouth, he wanted a quiet ride, this time he would take his time for a detailed interrogation the police were already behind him he didn't need to move too fast again.

…

When Castiel woke up he was in a dark room, surrounded by windowless gray walls and tied to a metal chair with thick ropes that no human could break, but he wasn't human, although he didn't try to escape, he worked with the headache to make it just a whisper in the background until it disappeared and his vision got used to the little light, the room smelled musty and moldy, he also recognized the unmistakable smell of blood, from inside he could hear the sound of footsteps and objects that moved from place, there was a radio on playing music from the eighties and someone quietly singing the song.

Now he had to calm down and meditate on what he was supposed to do, Dean kidnapped him and held him prisoner, it wasn't the way he had thought of approaching first, although he didn't worry, but he was uncomfortable with the fact that the killer was most likely planning to torture and kill him.

As he devised a peaceful solution to avoid torture, footsteps that were heard outside the room distracted him until the iron door in front of him creaked open slowly, there was a light coming from the hallway that didn't let see the killer's face, however a few seconds later, he turned on a switch by the door.

"Good morning Sunshine" The voice was lively and very casual "How did you sleep? Did you have sweet dreams?"

"I can't imagine how the content of my dreams could be of interest to you" Dean looked at him as if that wasn't the answer he expected, although it was only for a second before smiling in a cryptic way "But ..." He added " Answering your question, not very well "

"For a small guy you're pretty tough" Dean came over to close the door and lean in front of Castiel "No concussion" He held the angel's jaw clenching his cheeks, which startled him, he didn't expect to be touched "Your pupils seem fine"

They both held their gaze on each other, Dean's green eyes had a nice light color, but what Castiel was looking at so intently, wasn't the color, but what was behind, he was trying to see the man soul and what he looked at left him breathless.

Satisfied his curiosity, Dean let go him and took a step back to get a better look at him.

"Come to the point, why were you following me?"

Castiel took a few seconds to respond, should he tell him the truth?

"Because you're Dean Winchester" This one narrowed his eyes looking more suspiciously.

"Ignoring for a moment, how the hell do you know my name, that's not an answer" He leaned down again and spoke more slowly "Let's try again why were you following me?"

"I wanted to talk with you"

"Are you making fun of me?"

"No, I haven't made any joke" It was heard quite seriously.

"Who the fuck are you supposed to be!" Dean was beginning to lose patience.

"My name is Castiel" The angel remained calm and immutable "And I wanted to talk to you Dean" At no time did he look away from Dean's face, Dean was about bellow something but he stopped, snorting instead more calmly, pulled away once more.

"Sure" All sympathy had faded from his face "I wanted to be kind Castiel" He pronounced the name harshly "Normally I have to hear many screams and sobs before I know what I want, but you're being a little shit here"

Castiel didn't understand why Dean was so upset and had left the room, until he came back with a toolbox with the paint fallen and rusty, what took the blonde out of there began to worry the angel who sat more rigidly if it was possible and he paid close attention to the collection of knives and pliers.

"I was sent here" Castiel explained hoping that a little more information would be enough for Dean "To talk to you" Dean didn't stop almost ignoring Castiel.

"Keep going"

"It's wrong to kill Dean" Dean stopped abruptly and Castiel heard a chuckle.

"And who was the idiot who sent you here to tell me something so stupid?"

"My Fa ..." For some reason speaking wasn't working. Dean looked up from his tools questioning Castiel with this "It's not stupid"

"What were you about to say?"

"Do you believe in God?" Dean tried hard not to roll his eyes and returned to his knives "God exists Dean and he has been watching you, he wants to give you a second chance, before it's too late and your soul rots in the blood of the people you've murdered"

"You should listen to yourself dude" And he was the crazy one.

"You don't believe me" This time Dean rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation.

"You're making me tired, Castiel, if God really exists, why doesn't get your ass out of here? or better yet, why didn't save the blonde who was sitting in that same chair?, or all the people before her" He chose his weapon.

"That's not how it works" He shook his head.

"It doesn't work like that because the world is a shit and now it's your turn to understand it, God doesn't exist"

"And if I could prove it!, prove to you that God exists and there is an opportunity to…" Castiel was interrupted by the blow of a hunting knife stabbing into his shoulder, he was pretty sure that the bone had been what had stopped it.

"Go ahead, release a plague or why don't you turn blood into wine?" He smiled looking at the stain on Castiel's clothes spread around the blade of his knife, before noticing a curious detail. 

"Give me your word!" Blue eyes that almost seemed to shine looked at Dean with courage, it was strange that he hadn't yelled with the knife and still remained so calm "You will not kill anyone else"

"You're weird, did someone ever tell you that?" He took the handle of his knife and with a deft movement pulled it out of Castiel, the wound began to bleed more.

"Promise it"

"I'm not going to promise nothing" He snorted "I don't care how much you beg for your pathetic life and neither do I care about God and your evangelical delusions" Something in Dean's face changed, a shadow that Castiel was surprised to see after contemplating the light of his soul, he thought that he could convince him, that the man would listen to him, he had faith, like his father, that all human souls could redeem themselves and seek forgiveness.

Dean was cutting his tie and breaking the buttons on his shirt.

"Who sent you?"

"Please Dean, don't you see that every time you hurt someone, you only hurt yourself" He thought of the wounds he had seen in his soul, brilliant, but not for that reason unpolluted, the scars of the things he had done, pain, there was a lot of self-hatred.

Dean didn't ask again and Castiel felt the flesh of the human body that he created opened and bled, while the knife dug deeper and deeper into his chest, he didn't feel pain, he had blocked that function, but he still felt and was aware of everything else, the look in Dean's eyes was dark all that time.

He was stronger than a human, bigger, more powerful, he only needed to flap one of his wings or snap his fingers and he could finish everything and heal himself.

"Why…?" His voice was barely a whisper in the room, that didn't stop him and Castiel took a breath "What your father did was horrible" Like a bucket of cold water Dean froze and there was skepticism mixed with fear for a moment, but quickly that turned to anger "What happened to your mother wasn't your fault either"

"Shut up!" He stuck the knife in Castiel's leg and his free hands went to his neck "What the hell do you know! That’s your game? Talk to the killer, mess with his past, it wasn't your fault, little Dean is just a victim" His hands tightened more around his windpipe, cutting off the supply of oxygen and blood, until Castiel began to feel the pressure increase in his head "Not everyone is a victim Castiel, some of us are just monsters" Castiel could feel his conscience begin to slide, Dean was very strong, it was surprising how it was going to be the second time he passed out, but before he let it happen, he broke the ropes that tied his arms behind their back and raised their hands looking for the face of that monster.

He cradled his cheeks firmly but gently and let a little of his grace flow to him in order to heal those wounds and heal the soul crying out for help to be rescued.

Dean opened his eyes wild feeling that something warm and soft flowed through him to his chest, he had never felt anything like this before, it was like remembering his mother's smile or that feeling when he heard her sing a lullaby for his brother Sammy, but a hundred times nobler, something that he had forgotten, as quickly as it appeared was gone and along with the other less sweet feeling that had always been compressing his chest.

He looked down and looked what he was supposed to be doing, his hands were no longer on Castiel's neck and this one had passed out and fell to the floor next to the chair, his hands were shaking so he made them fists and tried to calm the rhythm of his heart beat. 

He didn't know what had that been, but who had the answer was there next to him.

Dean left him on the floor and left the room feeling strangely helpless and ... scared?, him?, scared of that man ?, of what he did to him?, Dean wanted to throw up, he didn’t feel well.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean was up most of the night, it was some mind trick, some deceitful shit, all that gossip from God and second chances, Castiel was crazy, he'd jumped at a killer just because he wanted to talk, he'd touched his face and messed up something in his mind, he was sure.

He didn't even let the sun rise over the horizon when he got out of his bed.

The interior of the room was just as it was when he left, except for Castiel who was sitting in a corner, Dean took his gun and opened the door.

"What did you do to me?" Castiel didn't answer but just looked at him with a serene and very annoyed look, of course, because like he had answered his other questions, he would answer this "Tell me what you did to me or I swear..."

"You shouldn't swear in vain" Castiel stood up, leaning on his knees, his shirt was still torn but the wounds on his chest, there was no sign of them, he had noticed how Castiel didn't scream or made a single noise the night before and now, it was as if his knife had never touched his skin, but the blood was there, dry on his clothes "Do you still not believe in God? Dean" Castiel waited, the poor human seemed to be lost, like a fish out of water.

"God ..." There was so much contempt and acid dripping from his voice that the word felt almost like blasphemy, Castiel suppressed the shudder of his wings "Say hello to God from me, asshole"

Dean sometimes called himself a monster as a bitter joke, but in front of him, together at the time, was a real monster, one that perhaps should kill, who would say, for the first time was doing the right thing.

He pulled the trigger.

He heard the noise of the shot and at the same time a small whisper of the flapping of wings, when he realized, Castiel wasn't standing in front of him, had disappeared.

…

Castiel rested against the cabin to avoid falling, he hadn't been able to fly far with a bullet hole in the middle of the chest, he took out the bullet and healed the wound, however he was still a little shocked Dean had shot him, even after fixing his soul he had shot him without flinching.

He was an angel of thousands of years old and that was the first time that someone besides than his father's words stirred any emotion within him, however they weren't feelings he would have chosen to have, for such a powerful being the frustration of not being able to do much to convince him or to have changed the motivations of the killer, tiredness wasn't a physical thing, but he definitely felt his feet heavier as he walked away from the cabin to resume his flight.

His mission wasn't yet over, he fought against the desire that was born from the bad actions of the sinner to never see him again, how the darkness in his eyes could coexist with something so beautiful? an unpredictable mix that deeply disturbed him.

He enjoyed the air brushing his feathers in mid-flight, it was enough to regain temperance and return with his target.

He wouldn't fail heaven.

…

Dean was nervous.

When was the last time he had been so nervous? Not even the night before his murders caused him so much agitation that he felt nervous, but after seeing someone disappear like smoke in front of his eyes, he thought he was actually taking it rather sparingly.

He was sitting in one of those roadside restaurants, having coffee, bacon and eggs, even though he was actually just stabbing the yolk several times with his fork.

He hadn't wanted to return to his apartment near his brother's house, yet ... but he wanted to stay away from the cabin for a few days and maybe take it seriously about moving in a few days and disappear.

With his eyes bent over the food, he remembered the face of the poor fool surprised at the moment he shot him, had he really believed that he wouldn't? When he mentioned his family, he thought that the guy knew him, maybe it had something to do with his past, that Castiel really didn't know shit about him, the anger was still itching under Dean's skin.

He dropped the fork and looked at the food as if it had personally offended him, he wasn't hungry, just remembering his blue eyes, the disappointed look at the last second, make felt him a knot in his stomach, he sighed feeling tired and paid for his food leaving the bills on the table, but there was something that made him feel better, nothing like driving his baby on the road and listening to good music. 

About fifteen minutes had passed since he left the restaurant and now he was driving through cornfields, everything was fine singing Highway to hell until the music on the radio stopped and he tried to fix it thinking the cassette had stopped, just to listen another three seconds of song and stopped.

"Oh, come on!" She hit the radio softly and it suddenly started making a very loud static noise and as it started it stopped.

"Hello Dean" This one felt his heart go out his throat and with huge puzzled eyes he turned in his seat to look back, where the strangely familiar voice came from, he even ignored the pain in his neck before shout.

"What the hell!" He reached for his gun on his belt and pointed it at him.

"I think we've been through this already" He was as calm as ever.

He shot him.

"What?, No! No!" The backseat skin now had a bullet hole.

Dean got out of his car and looked for Castiel everywhere, but there were only cornfields as far as the eye could see, had it been a hallucination?, he had only appeared and disappeared again, he heard him, he had seen him, was real ... but…

Dean stopped at the next gas station, appetite or not, went down to buy a beer, he needed it, or maybe something stronger... 

He walked through the aisles and stopped in front of the refrige, he was calmer now, he had spent the last five minutes swearing it was just his mind playing tricks on him, all his effort fell apart when he closed the refrige door and next to him appeared the face that would be part of his nightmares in the future.

He shuddered and dropped the beer on the floor.

"Holy God!" He felt his heart pounding his gossip again.

"Are you going to keep shooting me?" This time he seemed to be upset.

"You're going to keep showing up out of nowhere like a fucking ghost!" He wasn't a ghost, was he?

"Amm…" He looked up and down at Dean who seemed really surprised to see him, he could hear his heart pounding "I apologize"

After such a heart attack and breathing, Dean saw a problem in the distance between the two, Castiel was a shorter man than him, although not too much, besides that he noticed the smell of storm coming from him, definitely too close, he took a step back, Castiel was being very good to take him with his guard down, he still felt like those blue eyes stripped him completely and he still didn't like it.

There was silence, Dean had left his gun in the glovebox, but he was still carrying knives with him, however he didn't know what to do, Castiel didn't die even if he tried to leave bullet holes in his body, how frustrating it is for a killer someone that doesn't die.

"We need to talk" Dean felt the beginning of a headache.

"No" He surrounded the mystery man and left the store, he didn't care about the other people who might be seeing him, didn't care about the angry employee because of the beer he broke on the floor and he didn't care about Castiel.

"It's important Dean" Apparently Castiel had followed him out of the store, but that doesn’t mean he turned to argue with him "I want to help you"

"Why don't I believe you" He mumbled got into his car, speeding until he could no longer see him in the rearview mirror.

Who would want to help a murderer? Did he have any idea how many people he had killed? Because even he didn't know, he had stopped counting after thirty.

Everything sounded so false, but behind the anger that produced him, there was that echo of the thought of what would have happened if… He had to run, he was beginning to feel uncomfortable under his own skin.


	3. Chapter 3

The next time Castiel showed up with Dean, he was sitting outside his brother’s house in his own car, a week had passed, when he felt safe enough once again, without paranormal interruptions of any kind, he was ready to start hunting again, this time he was seeing one of Sam's neighbors, the woman never liked him and now that he was about to move, well...

"If you don't respect life, at least maybe you should respect your brother more" Dean got scared but he was already getting used to it, he closed his eyes and hit the head of his seat, leaning back.

"What do you want this time?"

"I've been watching you ..."

"Great, now I have my own stalker"

"You've been visiting your brother as an excuse to keep an eye on your next victim" Dean opened his eyes and turned to face Castiel.

"Hey!" His tone hardened "I visit Sammy because I want to spend time with him, so don't talk if you don't know anything"

"So you're not watching someone right now?" It would have been easy to deny it, but in addition to one or another victim he had never spoken to anyone about his hobby. 

"Maybe" He shrugged indifferently "I'm not doing anything wrong sitting in my car, looking out" Castiel's gaze narrowed and something changed in the air, hairs on Dean's body stood on end, for a second he would have sworn that what he felt was danger but Castiel's face was expressionless enough not to know, and Dean wasn't afraid of danger. 

"Why do you do it? Dean" This one rolled his eyes.

"You had been slow to ask"

"I didn't think you were going to answer me"

"And why would I do it now?" Castiel observed the assassin closely, he was still new with that of live together with humans, their expressions, their emotions, their behavior, everything was new and he needed an extra effort to understand him, he didn't even notice how close he was to Dean waiting for an answer, until he looked away and pulled away, was it uncomfortable to be so close? He heard the rhythm of Dean's heart faster "It's not an easy thing to answer like what is your favorite pizza or how old are you? You know, I am a psychopath, that's what psychopaths do" 

"You aren't a psychopath"

"Wow ... You are the first to believe that" He wasn't included.

Dean looked back at Castiel's face only to find sadness in those blue eyes, it was very subtle, barely noticeable, but overall it looked softer, he didn't expect to receive sympathy from anyone.

"You love your brother, that's enough proof that you're not a heartless monster Dean"

"That's because he's the only family I have" What would he do without Sammy? He was his only anchor to the real world.

"That's not true, I could feel it" After repairing his soul, many of Dean's emotions and thoughts had flowed to the angel and the strongest of them, which he clung to rescue pieces of the broken man sitting in front of him, it was love "Your love is pure and strong towards your brother and no matter how much you deny it, there is still an opportunity for you" Dean didn't know what to answer to that, luckily he didn't have to, Castiel disappeared after smiling at him.

Dean let out the air he didn't know he was holding when he was finally alone.

…

Castiel sat on a park bench not far from where his target was currently, he saw a good side of humanity for a change, following whit the gaze of the children who were playing and were happy, perhaps cheating a little so that any of them didn't get hurt.

He felt tired, following Dean, so chaotic with the decisions he made and where he was hiding from him, it was hard, he didn't seem to want to stop and every time he appeared to speak to Dean it was because he was following someone or he had the total intention of dragging someone into a dark alley, it could be said that he had thwarted his plans more than once, even with all the good intentions of Castiel that didn't help much, he was just a coincidence altering that prevented the murders, it was useless if Dean didn't stop killing of his own free will.

It was the second sigh of the day when he felt one of his brothers sitting next to him.

"Dean Winchester is causing you a lot of trouble? Brother"

"Hello Uriel" He looked at this one, but Uriel didn't look at him, instead he saw the little humans in front of them, he knew that his brother didn't appreciate his father's creation very much, but the children were an exception "It's just … "He sighed again.

"I'll take that as a yes"

"Do you think humans are really capable of change?"

"No" Uriel's response was quick "Personally I think your mission is a lost cause" That didn't sound very encouraging.

"Father doesn't think that" And he wanted to believe that he was right, in the course of the last few days he had observed other facets of Dean, faces that he didn't think he had, the man wasn't cruel to plants or animals, to be a killer was actually very honest in various aspects of his life, he could feel love, he had shown it with his brother, but he could also be capable of great hatred, especially of himself.

"In any case, even if Winchester changed, he would still go to hell for the sins he committed, Father believes that he should pay more attention to humans and us, however, it is too late, the world is already corrupt and every day there is more sinners in hell, Lucifer rejoices among the demons" 

"Do you really believe that? Brother"

"No matter what I believe" Uriel stood up and offered a sympathetic smile to Castiel "I don't have much time, I only came to offer you my help if you needed it"

"Thank you brother, I appreciate your gesture, although ... I think I'm fine" Even he didn't think he sounded convinced enough "I will show heaven that even the most corrupt soul can be saved"

"You have always been very naive Castiel, be careful"

Until Uriel left, it was that Castiel noticed that something was wrong with Dean and flew as fast as he could, he was in an area of the city that he hadn't been before, there didn't seem to be many people around the place and he concentrated on listening, there was a person near him praying for help.

He flew into a building, only to arrive at the moment when Dean stabbed his knife into a person's neck, blood stained the walls and began to create a large puddle on the floor.

His heart was still beating, he could save him, if he came close and used her powers, he could still...

Dean looked at him standing there next to the body with that dark look he had seen before and Castiel was completely unaware, that wasn't the man he thought Dean was, looking at him like a wild animal who also wanted to cut his throat.

"Dean ..." He couldn't get closer, Dean stood between him and the dying man, it was a stupid fight of wills until Castiel felt that it was all over.

He closed his eyes and his true form of an angel felt the soul of that human transcend to a plane beyond the physical and although his job wasn't to guide that soul to the other world, he was there, providing him with the calm and comfort he needed.

When he opened his eyes again, Dean hadn't moved, he was still in front of him stained with blood and then Castiel remembered his conversation with Uriel.


	4. Chapter 4

A smile that could only be described as evil was drawn on Dean's lips.

Demon, Castiel thought with his body bristled, controlling his instincts to attack or flee, although by that time his wings were already fluffed up to be considered threatening, yet there was no black color in his mocking and derogatory green eyes, he slowly regained his composure.

"Nothing?" Dean stretched out his arms strutting in front of the crime scene "I was expecting a moral sermon or what a good person I am still "

"What do you want me to say?" His voice was heard as a growl.

"I don't know, it's you who appears in front of me every time to do your good deed for the day and leave" Castiel looked at Dean, then at the body, Dean returned and finally the floor.

"I really don't know what to tell you Dean" For a second the smile on the killer 's face fell and he looked more like a kid caught doing a prank, but it was brief and Castiel doesn't care much in that moment "I can let you make fun of me, laugh at everything I tell you when I only try to help you and you can ever torture me, but I can't see how you take a life and I won't allow it "He took a step back, some reaper would come soon and would take care of the soul.

He walked away, but it was Dean who took two steps forward and caught up with him.

"Wait, Cas" His fingers slide down the coat fabric and it was the last thing he felt before he stumbled forward, into an obviously empty place.

Castiel had this bad habit of running away when it was convenient for him, which angered Dean, but Dean only felt disgusted with himself for some reason and the silence in the room was uncomfortable.

…

Dean thought that he wouldn't see Castiel again after that, which was good, he'd only been getting in the way, who would miss the annoying presence of someone always telling him that he was wrong?, but with the concern that only someone close to him as his brother could have.

It wasn't as if it made him feel less alone, because he really doesn't have anyone to talk to, he knew many people, but no one to call a friend and much less someone with whom he could be more himself, although he'd only shown his side bad to Castiel, perhaps the worst and until now, hadn't been disgusted, well maybe upset, but who wouldn't be, even more so when Castiel seems to be the opposite of Dean and he still looked at him as more than scum that he should crawl on the ground, as surely everyone would look at him if they ever found out what he was doing.

He seemed to forgive him, something he still believed impossible.

Who would miss that?

He had killed two more people in the last month, he didn't remember their names or an approximation of their ages, it was as if he hadn't known them in the first place, his indifference was such that he was sitting by the shore of a lake in a folding chair while was drinking a beer and taking care of his fishing rod.

He felt relaxed and around him he only listens to nature.

When Castiel appeared this time he wasn't get scared, although he didn't expect it, he stands by his chair and looks at the lake, they didn't speak for a while but it wasn't an awkward silence, Dean was fine with that.

"Hello Dean. It's a nice place" Castiel still refused to look at him.

"It is" Since when did talking about boring things become normal?

"I was expecting something more..." Dean smirked.

"Come on, say it" He wanted to hear it.

"Barbaric" Dean started to laugh, his laughter was calm and Castiel lowered his gaze to see the human and know what was funny and for once he seemed not to be laughing mainly at him, with no intention of offending him. 

Castiel was too polite, he was a stick in the ass and the guy seemed to be a century old, because he talked like his grandfather would and still managed to be cute, the kind that Dean would bother at school for his good grades, the good guy.

"Like a basement in which to butcher people"

"It's an approximation" There was silence again and Dean decided to change the topic, go for the important thing.

"You came back"

"I thought you didn't like being so obvious" Dean looked at him with a raised eyebrow, was it his imagination or was Castiel making fun of him?

"No, but with someone who doesn't understand sarcasm or hints, sometimes it's necessary. Why did you come back? Did you miss me?"

"It's my job" Castiel no longer sounded so casual.

"I hope they are paying you well"

"It's not that kind of job" Dean nodded, there it was again, the hints.

"I know, I know, God" He rolled his eyes "Why are you doing this?"

"I already told you, it's my ..." Dean interrupted him raising a hand.

"No, I mean..." Dean sighed "I keep disappointing you over and over" He noticed it the last time " Mission of God or not, I'm someone who is not worth it and even you should recognize it, actually, it seems like you noticed and even so you don't care, you're still here" While talking Dean had got up from his chair and stood in front of Castiel.

"Everyone deserves a second chance"

"You're a pretty stubborn bastard, you know that?" As surprising as it was, it wasn't an insult, Dean's smile wasn't either "And I like that" Although Castiel looked up, he pretended to be a little upset about that, he actually shared a knowing grin.

"Does that mean you're going to stop killing?" Castiel asked tentatively hopefully.

Dean was right about one thing, he didn't care, Dean could murder dozens more people and Castiel would be there trying to stop him, who else would if he wasn't there to try to be the voice of reason for someone who clearly didn't have moral judgment like the rest of humans.

"Nop! It means that I consider you a friend" Castiel frowned and opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but nothing came out, he looked pretty confused "Best friend actually" He hit his shoulder playfully "You are the first" Castiel kept looking at him as if another head or something like that had grown "So Cas, where are we?" He didn't remember going to a lake to fish. 

"This is a dream… Cas?" Why had he called him that? That wasn't his name and it wasn't the first time.

"It's easier, you know" He shrugged "A dream? Is it serious?" He looked around as if trying to recognize that it was a dream, however everything felt very real, the ground under his feet, the smell of water and wet soil, he stretched out to touch Cas's coat too and know if It was real, but this one stepped aside.

"I don't lie, it's a dream"

"What kind of creature gets into my dreams? What are you Cas?" The question was serious, Dean put the nonsense aside to have his full attention on Castiel, maybe it was too late to ask correctly and not assume the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm an angel" As smug as it sounded, Castiel inflated his proud chest by saying it, Dean only smiled without believing him.m an angel" As smug as he sounded, Castiel puffed up his chest with pride as he said it, Dean only smiled without believing him.

"Yeah, seriously, I don't care if you're some kind of demon or specter who possessed me or something like that" Castiel wasn't smiling.

"I'm an angel of the Lord, Dean" For about a minute Dean didn't give in to believe him, however the self-proclaimed angel didn't back down and stopped being fun.

An angel? The same joke twice was no longer funny, what was next? Would he win the lottery? Or would he go to space? It wasn't just that he didn't believe him, but he couldn't believe him, if all that holy and religious quackery was true, then why did he allow all those people to die, where was he when they begged for someone to he save them? When did he ask someone to help him?


	5. Chapter 5

Dean had disabled the alarm on his phone, but woke up with sunlight coming straight through the window fell on his face.

His mind still felt soft and he stared at the roof of his new room, slowly remembering where he was.

"A dream" He murmured, also remembering the content of his dream, of course it had been a dream no matter how real it had felt.

Castiel wouldn't come back just because Dean missed him a little.

He rested his forearm covering his face from the sun for another minute before getting up and starting his day, he was getting more bored lately, which could also translate as more time free and more news about him on tv.

He went into his kitchen to make breakfast, he kept spinning in his head that “angel” with black and tousled hair, that's not what those feathered things were supposed to look like, where were the wings? The rosy cheeks and the bright halo over his head… he would love to see Castiel blushing. He threw away that last thought, considering his long list of atrocities, how bad could it be to think profane things about an angel? 

He could find out.

He started humming a song while frying the bacon. Castiel tied in one of his rooms with shackles on his wrists and chains nailed to the walls, a blindfold covering his eyes and a crucifix around his neck while he had his shirt open, like that time he cut his chest, it could perfectly have been through a torture scene rather than bad sadistic porn.

Although this time, he didn't want to cut that pale skin, this time, he wanted to run his knife through the beads of the necklace just to see it shudder…

"Enough Dean" This one burned with the oil from the pan when he suddenly heard the thunderous voice.

"Son of a bitch ..." He hissed in pain as he held his hand and reached for a napkin to wipe off the oil "Don't you ever appear like that again! Got it?" Dean glared at him from across the table, though he couldn't remain angry for long when he noticed the red color on Castiel's face, did he…?

"Your thoughts are too loud" He avoided looking into his eyes, focus on the refriger, which was more interesting.

"Okeeey…" They hadn't seen each other in over a month and now he just showed up in his kitchen after having fantasies about him, just to hang out, it was weird, but there he was, near the kitchen entrance, just as he remembered, didn't he change his clothes?

"I can hear what you think when you pray, more when you pray in my name" He tried to explain it looking more uncomfortable every second.

"I wasn't praying" He was completely sure of that, for his mother's grave that he hadn't prayed once in years. He shook his head slightly.

"You were thinking of me and you wanted to see me" It was like trying to explain to an adult that the sky was blue, something too obvious.

"No" He denied again "I wasn't…" He was thinking about him, but he didn't want to see him, no "I wasn't praying" There was a tense silence and there was only the sound of the pan with his breakfast burning. He lowered his gaze to his burned hand for a second and Castiel followed it.

"May l?"

"Hum?" Castiel had the big eyes of a puppy that reminded him of Sammy and was pointing at his hand "I'm fine" He seemed to want to apologize "It's ..." Without giving him time to say anything else, Castiel was already eliminating the distance between them, even though Dean tried to walk away, strangely Castiel was very strong and caught him relatively easily, it wasn't as if the Winchester had put up a lot of resistance when he took his hand.

In a second Dean stopped feeling pain, it was like a miracle, Castiel's hand stopped feeling like a pleasant tingle to feel just like a warm hand touching him, his eyes open like two spheres left his hand and traveled towards the face of Castiel almost can't believe it, he had long eyelashes over those piercing eyes, they were definitely much more charming up close. 

"Cas" Dean cleared his throat, where was that shame from a minute ago? "Personal space man, I need space" He turned his head away coughing against his fist, the fact that he was almost naked in his kitchen didn't help.

Castiel blinked and it was as if he noticed something that he had been completely ignoring, backing away.

"I'm sorry"

"That thing you do to appear out of nowhere behind me, don't do it, okay?, you're going to give me a heart attack"

"I would heal you" That got out a half smile from Dean.

"I bet you would" That half smile became a complete one imagining Castiel saving him after being the one to kill him "So... Do you want to stay for breakfast? Coffee?" He definitely needed one, trying to be casual with the "angel" hadn't been difficult before.

"I don't need to eat" Castiel began to inspect the kitchen with his gaze over the place, Dean couldn't guess what he was thinking but must have to approach that he didn't approve the order in the place.

"Everyone needs to eat" He decided to ignore it, since he was there Dean didn't want to eat alone, he took a second cup and poured coffee for Castiel, forcing him to take it.

Dean calmly had his bitter drink pretending not to look at the shy lips of the other to touch the hot pottery without burning, fleshy pieces that he licked after wetted them with the coffee, he said nothing, but the expression on his face revealed everything, Castiel didn't like coffee.

Dean calmly drank one swallow of his bitter drink pretending not to follow the look of the shy lips of the other to touch the hot ceramic without burning, fleshy pieces that he licked after moistening them with coffee, said nothing, but the expression on his face revealed everything, Castiel didn’t like coffee. 

The tension in Dean's body was completely gone, he didn't let his guard down with anyone but his brother and even with Sam, he couldn't be sure that he didn't notice something strange about him.

"Dean?" This one was distracted smearing butter on bread, he wasn't even worried about turning his back "What do I need to do to stop you from killing?" Dean let out a big sigh, rolling his eyes almost back out of his sockets and his lips uttering a silent why? 

"I feel like we've had this conversation before" He put down the bread and butter knife, suddenly felt like he wanted to use it, and crossed his arms.

"No, we haven't had it, this time I'm offering you something, what you want?" Dean looked at Castiel completely, cold expressionless, how could he change so quickly?, but it was fine, he also had his own poker face.

"Are you sure you're not a demon? You sound like one"

"The demons would ask your soul in return, I'm asking you for a fair deal"

"Yes" He waved a hand dismissively and folded his arms again "You tried that the first time" He shifted the weight of his hip towards the other foot "I'm really getting tired of this, I know you're dumb Cas, but..." He didn't think that nothing Castel could say could convince him, but what he said was true, he was getting tired and he was absolutely sure that he would have the angel on his shoulder day and night like an annoying mosquito always repeating the same things, it was a deal he was offering him, well, he could get something good out of it, it wasn't like he was going to fulfill that deal either "What do you imagine you could offer me? It has to be a good thing" He gave him one of those smiles that he used with the pretty women he met in bars.

"What would you like?" Rather than throwing himself in with wonderful and tempting things, he tested Dean and his ambitions.

Dean lowered his arms and walked towards Castiel, at that moment Dean wasn't the same man who kindly offered him breakfast, the angel felt it around him, he was hunting.

"Could you kill someone for me?" He reached out a hand towards Castiel, but Castiel move off looking at him with daggers in his eyes, the only idea had offended him and to him and everything he stood for.

"No"

"So you're not being honest Cas, I can't have anything I want" Castiel took a deep breath, now that Dean was thinking of making a deal with him, he wouldn't let him go, even if it was still disgusting to lower himself to stop Dean from killing again, but the words didn't work with the man, it was foolish to believe they would.

"Almost anything except me killing someone"

"Do you have any idea what you're saying?" Dean's smile grew bigger leaning over Castiel, in any other circumstance that smile would have been beautiful, the way he pulled the corners of his eyes, how it seemed to illuminate his face, but it wasn't sincere and Castiel disliked it.

"I have"

"I don't think so. What if I asked you to burn a church? Mm? That you rob a bank and got me a lot of money, kick a puppy or push a child in a wheelchair down a ladder. would you do? Cas" Dean listened as Castiel swallowed.

"I…"

"Poor innocent martyr" Dean had been wrong, his day wasn't going to be boring "It was a good try, but ..."

"I will" Castiel interrupted his evil monologue by nailing his eyes to that smug face.

"What?"

"You heard me" He wasn't going to repeat it, Castiel wasn't going to let him see how much his actions affected him.

"You're wrong Cas, you wouldn't" His smile fell a little.

"Don't underestimate me Dean" And indeed he didn't, a look in those eyes that burned with rage and courage, it wasn't good to underestimate him.

What could Dean ask that was so horrible as to make Cas regret? What could stain the image of a pure angel? Something that would prove his point and show him how wrong he was, that he was rotten inside, that he was something he couldn't change.

"All right. I just want one thing."

"What?"

"You"


	6. Chapter 6

"My own angel" Dean laughed at Castiel's expression when he said it, he should have taken a picture, he surely expected him to ask for a horrible thing, but that would have been very easy and the most logical thing, to get angry and hate him, he could see him in his confusion and the shock of his face, how sweet, almost reminded him of his victims "Or do you want to retract Cas?"

It still took him a bit to recover, looking at the ground without seeing any other options, that meant he would become Dean's pet, Castiel Angel of the Lord, the slave of an infamous killer, that shouldn't be allowed, his father wouldn't allow it, right?

But what else could he do?

He clenched his fists and controlled the growing anger within him, it was humiliating, degrading, he had never felt thar way, was to disrespect heaven.

With his right hand he held Dean's arm, hearing him scream until he hit him in the face and finally let go him.

"You will keep your word, Dean Winchester!" He watched him with wild, bright eyes, screaming over his pathetic whimpers and curses, Dean held his arm where Castiel had touched him "Or I'll be the one to take your ass to hell!" It was a promise.

And as usual Castiel disappeared.

Looking at his arm more closely, Dean saw Castiel's hand engraved into his skin, it appeared to have been burned but it didn't hurt anymore.

…

He couldn't return to heaven yet and trapped on earth he thought he might ignore it, but again a soul was screaming for help and it was Castiel's fault, Dean had murdered two more people since the last time.

It was hard not to feel responsible for it, with the duty to change something, he had done nothing, was this how his father felt most of the time? Had he never thought about what God did on earth?, he understood that he shouldn't intervene directly, but being a passive observer wasn't his thing either.

That was his first mistake, showing up in front of the man, that had already generated enough criticism among his brothers, when they should only be presences whispering good deeds on their shoulders, perhaps one or two small miracles if people were important but the influence of good couldn't be greater than that of evil.

Castiel was already breaking the rules from day one.

He needed advice, unfortunately his brothers were busy in their own business and he also preferred not to drag them into his problem, many of them wouldn't look kindly on what Castiel was doing either.

He wasn't sure it would be a good idea, but he tried.

"Father" The feeling of the word on his tongue was strange for someone else. Although his voice had been no louder than a soft whisper he could feel the human on the other side of the small window that separated them shudder, Dean also did it every time he appeared.

"Sorry. I didn't hear you arrive" The man puts his hand to his chest feeling the fast heartbeat "What do you need?"

"An advice" It was easier than Castiel thought "There is something that is making me doubt my beliefs, before I believed that with patience and perseverance I could find the solution to all problems, but patience is what I don't have, I can't let more time pass and perseverance, none of my attempts have worked, I tried to be tolerant with the intolerable and see the good side of something that is clearly full of defects that surpass all virtue" He hadn't thought that before of Dean, however, after seeing the blood on the ground and his cold, emotionless eyes, he was no longer so sure. 

The man kindly didn't interrupt him.

"I want to save him, it's what I want most, if someone is suffering that's Dean, it's just that… " Castiel squeezed his hands that rested on his lap "I fear that it's not enough or it's too late, that my struggle be in vain and in the consequences of my failures"

The cleric was silent for a while even though Castiel had stopped talking, it wasn't easy to give a sensible opinion out of context, but he thought that perhaps he was doing it on purpose.

"No struggle is in vain. I don't know what you're dealing with, but you should never believe that your attempts aren't enough, I'm sure you have done everything you can …" Castiel interrupted quickly denying.

"I haven't done everything, I haven't resorted to violence, but there's no point in threatening him if that won't make him change, I need to make him change, I need to change him" Castiel was already weaving a new plan, two absurd and crazy ideas, some of them had to work, but he still had to hear that it was okay, that he could still do it.

"This person you are talking about, tell me more about him"

"Dean is…" God provided him with all the information he needed to know, but was it enough? Something inside him told him that he should judge him with his own eyes and yet what he had observed only confused him more "I don't know, it's not what I expected"

"And what did you expect?"

"Maybe that's my problem, I was expecting too much"

"We are all full of defects, it is part of who we are"

"Dean is full of them, drinks, fornicates and eats in excess" The success of any sinner, curiously Castiel hadn't yet mentioned the murders "He is a man who lets himself be guided by his instincts" 

"And tell me, what about you?"

"Me?"

"Have you never been carried away by any desire?"

"No" The answer was quickly and suspiciously sure "We weren't created to wish for things" The last time that happened with one of his brothers, things didn't end very well.

"I don't think… who told you that?" The father obviously thought he was talking about humans, not angels.

Who? Castiel was going to answer but he couldn't, his father never forbade them such a thing and even so it was common sense between him and his brothers, wasn't wanting to save the man a desire in itself? 

"Can you tell me your name?" The father's voice brought the angel out of his thoughts.

"Castiel"

"Is it a religious name?"

"Yes"

"Castiel, maybe you're taking all this to an extreme, there's nothing black and white, good or bad, I notice your good intention to want to help your friend, why don't you trust him more? If you think it is worth helping him, surely it is" The man's presence was warm and his soul was also bright, not as much as Dean, but radiant in his own way, he was a good person.

"Maybe you're right, Father Eliot" Castiel spoke softly, he needed to regain security to continue his plans "But it doesn't solve my problem, what should I do to stop Dean from killing people?" Castiel had compassion on the man who seemed to have been gagged, humans weren't used to dealing with such complex things, even if it was a confessional.

"Maybe it's not the advice you want to hear from my Castiel, but you can go to the police…"

"That goes beyond human laws" He interrupted using the same soft tone as not to alter he more "In hell, corrupt souls are tortured for the equivalent of their sins, time passes differently, so suffering becomes an eternal punishment "The air inside the church was heavy, the father next to him seemed to be very puzzled, Castiel didn't want him to believe him, up to this point he just wanted to be heard "But there are occasions, exceptions, when souls, instead of receiving the atonement they need, are further corrupted, become black holes of evil, empty, devoid of any empathy and feelings and are in charge of tormenting other souls, the problem is when one of those corrupt souls comes out of hell. If my father wants Dean to avoid that punishment it is for something and now that I have seen him murdering I think I understand a little, because I have seen that emptiness in his eyes, I can't even imagine what would happen if Dean went to hell "Castiel's entire body stood on end and his wings began to flutter, the nearby candles blew out. 

"Castiel…"

"Thank you father" He stood up.

"Castiel ...!" He didn't hear the door on the other side of the confessional open or close, and when he went out looking for the man, he found no one.

He left alone with a restlessness in his chest.


	7. Chapter 7

It had to be a bad joke.

Dean put the keys to his apartment in his pocket without taking his eyes completely off Castiel standing like a statue in his living room, or something like that, where there was a small sofa and the television.

He had got off work and was carrying his dinner in bags, he couldn't tell if he was happy to see him or not, the last time the dude burned his arm, so he wasn't very happy about it.

He closed the door with perhaps a little more force than necessary.

"Hello Dean" This one walked to the kitchen ignoring him, however Castiel followed him.

Dean pulled out a beer and sat at the table eating a burger and a slice of pie, it was during the middle of his hamburger that he spoke with his mouth full.

"Are you going to stand there and just watch me eat?"

"Yes?" Dean rolled his eyes and tossed his burger back into the bag.

"I'm not hungry" He huffed and turned in his chair to look at Castiel with a disgusted face "Hey, could you do more of your Hogwarts magic and heal my arm?" He pointed this "I think you left something last time"

"It's not magic, it's ..." Dean cut him off abruptly.

"You are going to, or not?"

"I can't" Castiel had his lips tight and looked quite tense, fleeing his gaze from Dean, he also seemed upset.

"Why?" He narrowed his gaze.

"It's not just a wound, it's part of a bond"

"A what?"

"Our deal, angels can't make deals, I tied your soul with my grace to make sure you keep your promise" Dean continued to watch Castiel processing that information "Now if you try to kill someone my grace will burn inside of you" Which would probably kill him and then take him to hell, just as he promised, although that part Dean didn't need to know.

Castiel didn't even want to imagine what his punishment would be too, he wanted Dean to keep his word.

"So… my soul and your…" He pointed between the two of them.

"Grace"

"That, are they together? Is that a gay thing or something like that?" He ignored the fact that he would burn if he tried to do something funny, that he hadn't understood well, one thing at a time, meanwhile Castiel smelled offended from the distance they were.

"It's not a sexual thing!" Color quickly appeared on his face and Dean remembered that Castiel was a bit prudish and how funny he was.

"That can be fixed" He winked at him smiling flirtatious at the same time that he resigned also letting go of the traces of anger that remained, as he expected Castiel blushed like a pretty girl, he had never flirted with a man of the own age, but with Castiel he felt comfortable, almost playful.

"Your behavior is quite inappropriate Dean, I would appreciate it if you stopped thinking those things about me"

"Why?" He came back for his beer that was heating up on the table "You can't blame me for that, you are quite attractive" Dean noticed a little interest in those blue eyes, the compliments always worked, whether they were true or not, although this time it was "Not to mention that voice, it must be very hot to hear you in bed "He laughed when Castiel couldn't find a reply.

Dean was not gay.

He never thought of another man that way, his father made it very clear, but men have needs, the angel might blame him for just having a little fun.

"Please" Castiel asked, breathing to calm down himself "It's a bad thing" Dean stopped enjoying his bullying when Castiel began to seem more embarrassed and guilty

"You've never slept with someone?" He sounded serious, but that's not what Castiel heard who continued to believe that he was making fun of him.

"Dean…"

"I'm serious" He was firmer this time, without laughter, without comments, looking at him directly curious, but more than anything upset, Castiel didn't answer immediately, but looked at the floor between his shoes.

"Obviously not" Something inside Dean grunted with relief at that answer… What the hell? He pushed that feeling to the back of his thoughts, along with all the shit he didn't need in his day to day and wore a mask perfectly rehearsed.

"That can be fixed" He said getting up from the chair "Take your things Cas, let's go for a ride" His boring dinner at home had become a fun Friday night, he would go have a drink with Cas and most likely scratching a little bit of that itch that had been accumulating.

Dean stopped when he took his jacket, what was he doing? was he going to have a beer with Cas?… Cas! He turned around and looked at the man who was following him, a friend, right? those words in his dream took on a more real weight.

…

The music was loud, people were annoying, the beer tasted bad, he didn't understand why Dean took him to a place like this and the most irritating thing of all, was watching him flirt with all the women he could, he had to be very alert, how many of them could be potential victims? Castiel was with Dean because he wouldn't allow anyone else to suffer, whatever it cost, so a mistake as silly as being distracted by a kind woman who talked to him and played with his tie, should be condemned by one of his brothers' swords.

Dean had said that he would go to the bathroom for a moment, however when Castiel had gone to check this one and when he didn't find him, he began a relentless search to find out where he was, he didn't have to look far in the parking, he was against his car kissing a woman in his arms, he was sure he hadn't seen her before, but that didn't matter.

"Dean" Both were surprised and the blond growled.

"Now not Cas"

"Dean" He insisted.

"I said no now!" He turned to face his friend, the woman behind him fell silent, reserved, blue eyes were on her.

"Go" As if something was whispering to her that it was a good idea, she hurried out to her own car.

"What the hell Cas!" Dean couldn't reach her because Castiel appeared in the middle, blocking the way, Dean pushed his chest without moving a single inch "I was going to fuck that bitch!"

"Don't talk about her like that Dean" Castiel's narrow gaze was sour and he stood with his whole straight back looking bigger and more intimidating than Dean, but he had no respect for big or intimidating things, he was very upset with Castiel.

"Tell me" With his hands still on his chest he clenched the fabric of his shirt between his fists "What are you going to do?, don't you want me to speak ill of an unknown whore in a bar?, because that's what she is, an easy…" Castiel didn't even flinch while Dean's cheek burned from the slap.

"What does that make you? Also a whore?" The blow had shocked him, glancing surprised at Castiel, but the anger quickly took over.

"Not a whore" His hands were no longer holding Castiel's shirt but were surrounded his neck "In something worse" He strangled Castiel, who was using his grace to resist for longer, but the sensation of his hands clenching and the pressure on his fragile trachea was an intense feeling of danger.

"Dean…" He gave in to the urge to hold his wrists to make him release him, fought him only excited the killer more "I don't want to hurt you"

"I won't be the one to get hurt" How much strength did Dean have? A human shouldn't hurt him, not if he didn't allow it.

"Dean ..." Then the world had gone black.

When Castiel began to regain consciousness, he observed Dean with great fear walking in front of him, he was covered in blood, his blood, his grace told him that something was wrong.

"Good morning Sunshine" He realized he had regained consciousness.

"What…" Castiel felt suffocated, as if he couldn't move his chest to breathe or speak.

"Oh sorry, does it hurt?" He blocked any sensation, otherwise he was sure he would be in a sea of agony, he took a breath trying to respond.

"Dean, stop." Not because of him, the mark on his arm must be burning, how could he not realize? His grace was burning amid so much evil.

"But we just started" Dean leaned cradling his cheek in his hand, with the loss of blood Castiel's mind was numb, he didn't think to move away "So don't fall asleep, I want us to enjoy this together"

Now he was in Dean's hands, he could only take it and hope for the best, that didn't prevent him from seeing something unpleasant.

That wasn't Dean.


	8. Chapter 8

Castiel didn't talk to him, didn't look at him, just stayed in the same room as him sitting in a corner or looking through a window, which made Dean angry, even though he tried to start a conversation and was completely ignored.

What else did Castiel want from him? It was his fault for making him angry, although the only thing he did wrong was prevent him from sleeping with a woman. Was it so bad?  
Dean had a headache and he didn't want to continue taking pills, he was sad!, okay, he didn't want to be ignored, he wanted Castiel to talk to him, to scold him, anything but indifference.

"I'm sorry" He growled from the other side of the room "Okay, sorry, I'm sorry I stabbed you." Finally! Castiel slowly raised his head and turned to look at Dean.

"Apologies have to be sincere to be an apology"

"I'm being honest here Castiel!, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have done it, I wasn't ... I wasn't thinking" Cold blue eyes kept staring at him impassively until with a deep sigh he closed his eyes and looked away again.

"At least you didn't kill anyone again"

"That's not important here, the important thing is that…!" Since when did Dean apologize for something he did? Since when did he feel that bad about hurting someone? Since when did he care about Cas?

What was important was that Castiel should care more about himself and not about others.

"It's all right" It wasn't! Every muscle of Dean vibrated to jump and say it, but he was paralyzed, he didn't want to see that face in the angel, that wasn't how Cas looked normally, he wasn't tired nor did he seem to just want leaving the room, so tense and sad, because Dean made him unhappy.

"Okay, okay…" He repeated, he needed to calm down, take a deep breath and fix his shit with Castiel "I know you don't believe me and it didn't fit you and I know you're upset" But Castiel had already forgiven him before, right? Maybe this time it would be no different, why had he forgiven him? "I just want you to know" The palms of his hands had started to sweat and he shamelessly wiped them on his pants without wanting Cas to notice it, he must have been giving a pathetic look if Cas had paid attention to him again.

"Do you…" Castiel cut himself in the middle of the sentence and sighed "Thank you Dean, it must have been a great effort for you to apologize" Dean groaned miserably, Castiel was too kind, too good, he accepted his sorry apology without thinking twice.

He needed to do something to make up for it.

And how was he going to do that?

…

He must be going crazy if he looked for a movie and was putting it on his computer for him and Castiel to watch together.

It something he would do with a girlfriend, Dean had had a few in his youth, to pretend normality, although he had never seen any movie with them, he preferred to take them to eat and spend time doing other more "entertaining" things, but already sitting in the couch, with lots of snacks and popcorn between him and the computer, it wasn't so weird, just a movie with a friend.

What movie should an angel watch? Something scary? He was tempted to know if Cas would be scared, probably not, he had already seen worse things, romantic ones, please… in the end he chose one from Disney.

Castiel was absorbed with the film and Dean filled his mouth with food while pretending to be watching the movie instead of the angel, although he remained silent there was a sparkle of interest in his eyes, after the almost two hours that passed, he had also stopped sitting on the other end of the couch to sitting closer to Dean and as soon as they finished one, they started another, it was fun answering Cas's questions about things he didn't understand were happening and seeing him start getting excited about the stories, Dean felt relaxed and even his own worries began to disappear, why didn't he have more days like that? Just forget about everything and spend his time with Cas doing everyday things.

He would teach him how to make breakfast.

…

Dean was acting weird, well he wasn't an average human and Castiel couldn't pinpoint what had changed, it just there wasn't make sense what he was doing.

"Wear it" He looked at the apron that Dean was forcing into his arms.

"Dean, I don't eat, I don't need to learn how to cook" He took it grudgingly and looked at how it was used when seeing Dean put on a similar one.

"No, but you can help me" Luckily that morning Dean wasn't half naked, as the thought crossed Castiel's head, he ran his eyes over Dean's body when he turned his back at him, all of his father's creations were beautiful, no matter how corrupt or contaminated they were, but the beauty in Dean was different, even if he didn't know how to explain his charm.

Lately there were a lot of things that he didn't understand, the day before while they were watching a movie Castiel notice that Dean was watching him but he wasn't sure, he couldn't imagine why he would be watching him, but whatever the reason, he made him feel a shy, forcing him to pay more attention to the film, until forgetting it.

After hours Dean had fallen asleep on the couch, he thought about taking him to his own bed but when he got up and was about to touch him, he stopped abruptly, feeling a chill all over his body that made him back, it didn't make sense, he just knew that he didn't want to wake up Dean and that he could confuse the situation, even so, Castiel could take care of the situation, or maybe not… The second time he tried, he ignored the warnings in his head and took him carrying like a bride to his bed without waking him up.

He stayed by his side for a few minutes, Dean's face was peaceful and almost reflected what he had seen beyond his eyes, he was captivating and Castiel stroked his hair wishing him a good sleep.

Returning to the present, his gaze left Dean to look at the apron, although he wanted to refuse he couldn't.

"The coat Cas" Dean was laughing at him for still wearing the coat and he helped him taking it off "By the way, why the counter outfit? Wasn't there something more boring in the angel shop? Priest maybe" He holding his blue tie but not pulling it, Castiel frowned and narrowed his gaze.

"I don't have any more clothes Dean and this one doesn't get dirty or damaged"

"Hmm…" Dean nodded unconvinced and left his tie "Well… let's make pancakes Cas, do you know what pancakes are?" It was a simple thing that even a child could do and already had everything ready on the kitchen table.

Dean was right with the aprons, although he didn't need it he wasn't quite sure how Castiel had covered him with flour too, but he had managed to make the dough, that was good, right?, although he was laughing a lot, Castiel didn't seem very happy.

"Hey…" He looked at Castiel who was staring at the floor, over the mess he had made "Cas, are you okay?" He didn't raise his head to answer.

"I could make food appear"

"Hey…" He got closer until he was in front of him, he didn't know what was going through the angel's head, but he didn't need to be smart to understand that it was a tantrum and that was cute "It's your first time cooking, okay, we can try as many times as you need "Castiel finally looked up from the floor looking into Dean's eyes, he smiled kindly at him.

"I don't need to cook" He spoke seriously, but there was something trembling in his voice, Dean rolled his eyes and took off his apron to wipe with this the face of Castiel stained of white, the angel shuddered but didn't move, for convenience he use the other hand pressing it against his cheek until he removed most of the flour, only when he finished, he didn't let go, he kept looking at him and stroking his cheek with his thumb.

Dean realized what he was doing by taking a step back and removing his hands as if he had been burned.

"Dean?" Castiel looked at him in confusion.

"What… What if you take a bath, I… I'll clean the kitchen here" Looking away he expected Castiel to walk out the door, not that with a snap of the fingers the mess and dirt, including the stains on the clothes would disappear by magic "Wow… That's helpful " He looked at his kitchen and Castiel with amazement "What… What else can you do?"

"Nothing that goes against my father's laws" He shrugged. He had his limitations but obviously he wasn't going to talk about it with someone like Dean.

"I'm not dreaming am I?" Castiel tilted his head to the side.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you… real?" He remembered the heat under his hand, ashamed to admit how much he had liked to touch him, that Castiel, a bloody angel was in his kitchen preparing breakfast with him, an angel! But that wasn't what had Dean so paranoid, but his mere existence, the presence of Castiel in his life, as someone he had seen through his dirty inside, who had hurt, who didn't deserve trust, was still there and was as comfortable with him as Dean of Castiel.

"Yes…" He continued to watch him carefully, asking what had happened to Dean, his heart was racing, his pupils had dilated and it seemed as if he was going to run away at any moment.

Dean realized that he was falling in love.

With Castiel.

"Oh God"


	9. Chapter 9

Dean tried to hide from Castiel, however that wasn't as easy as he thought, Castiel was kind giving him his space because he saw the killer more nervous and unpredictable than before and for that same reason, he could less take his eyes off him, he was a shadow for the human, something he couldn't see but was present wherever Dean looked feeling observed.

He could only attribute his behavior to Dean thinking about killing again, to his surprise, he didn't kill anyone, so Castiel began to believe that it was his own fault because Dean only acted in that evasive way in front of him, did he do something that might made him uncomfortable or angry? And if so, did it matter? Castiel had a mission, he didn't care about Dean's opinion about it, or he shouldn't.

He looked at Dean buying food and clothes, Castiel was still nervous when he noticed that predatory glow in his eyes when a person who stood out was crossed in front of him and even more when he stopped to talk to any of them, he was aware Dean was attractive to human eyes, he had seen and heard more than one woman flirting with him, that bothered him, they offered themselves as meat for a carnivore.

But that time it was different, listening to the woman who was also going alone trying to strike up a conversation and being subtly and politely rejected by Dean, well, that had never happened before, until now it had been Castiel who had intervened to keep them away, receiving enough hatred in the process.

This time he decided to ask.

"Why did you reject that woman?" Dean came home a little late, seeing Castiel appear on his couch made him feel like he was welcoming him, only the question was out of place, too unexpected.

"I can't hide anything from you, can I?" He sighed and carried things into the kitchen.

"No" Dean didn't answer and ignored him, however Castiel insisted appearing close "I must remind you what will happen if you break our deal" Dean couldn't keep ignoring him.

"You take me to hell, so? I'm still going to end there"

"Do not underestimate your punishment Dean, it will be even worse if I'm the one who hands you" Dean left the things to face up Castiel. He always had to be so arrogant and overbearing with his morality and god, that was Castiel's only problem.

"Why don't you care less about me and what I do and don't worry more about yourself, because we made a deal Cas remember, you are mine and I haven't done anything with you yet" Castiel gave him a sharp and serious look.

"What's stopping you Dean?" He had already been tortured and almost killed, nothing he could do could be worse.

Castiel was wrong.

With a bitter smile and devoid of any mockery, Dean walked to Castiel and he continued where he was without moving or hesitating, waiting, his green eyes this time not having the dark shadow that always overshadowed them.

"Do you like being a martyr?" Dean raised his hand touching his face, he didn't answer "Or you're just a masochist" Then Dean did something that Castiel never expected, he kissed him, it was gentle, a slight and soft pressure on his lips "I rejected her because I was thinking of you" He whispered.

"What…"

"It's time to keep your word Cas, I want you to kiss me" Castiel pushed the knot down his throat to say something, but it didn't move, instead he looked at Dean, his eyes were normal but neither his smile nor his expression were sincere, he couldn't read it.

"Son of a bitch" Castiel swallowed his pride and leaned forward to kiss Dean, imitating him.

"How sweet "

"Is this funny to you?" It was the drop that spilled the glass, Dean didn't deserve to be saved.

"Of course it is, it's the first rudeness I hear you say" Castiel had had enough.

"Think about what you are going to tell me or you will regret" Castiel grabbed him by the shirt collar.

"Are you going to hurt me?" Dean's smile grew more twisted, that was a blow for Castiel.

"I will make you regret, you don't deserve to be saved Dean Winchester, you are just another bastard like the rest of souls that rot down there and you deserve to be there" Castiel saw the anger in Dean grow.

He felt how his lips were ground against a kiss he didn't ask for, Dean was anything but gentle, it wasn't at all like the first, as soon as he tried to make him separate his lips, he bit him, Castiel tasted the blood and alarms in his head rang, but he got Dean to let him go.

"I know it!" Dean yelled walking away to hit anything but Castiel "I know I deserve to be there, you don't have to rub it in my face all the damn time" His mouth hurt and he was looking for something to clean himself with "I know I'm scum, and more to you, but how else could I make you kiss me? "Although Castiel was still angry too, he thought about what he just said, how else would he make him kiss him? Dean wanted him to kiss him, why?

"¿Dean…?"

"But I can't!" He leaned on the table supporting on his hands "I can't do it, I can't rape you, I can't…" He shook his head looking desperate.

[I rejected her because I was thinking of you.] He remembered those words to which he had paid no attention. 

"Dean…" His voice was softer this time.

When he found out that he was in love with the angel, he first wanted to deny it, after that he thought that he didn't deserve to be in love with Castiel and this one would just laugh or be angry when he knew it, during his discussion when his head was hot, he thought why not?, that he was already someone horrible enough, whatever he did wouldn't make a difference, but knowing that Castiel didn't want it, as he struggled not even to touch him, made him realize how wrong he was.

Because he did care, he cared about Castiel and what he felt, he cared about what he thought and how he looked at him, as if there was still the slightest hope, he didn't want to change that.

A comforting hand on his back made Dean shudder slightly, who didn't expect to feel the physical contact or see the softness with which Castiel looked at him, it wasn't the expression of someone angry, it was more that of a patient mother who saw her son doing something silly.

"You're wrong Dean" This one was about to protest wondering what he was wrong, but Castiel was already leaning towards him and Dean couldn't think so fast or act, the angel gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek, just a caress that a caress that shouldn't blush anyone, but Dean felt his breath catch "I'd kiss you if you just asked me" There was a small accusatory glance, but the rest of Dean only saw Castiel's smile radiant as the sun.

"C-Cas…" 

"I forgive you Dean" Castiel was still close, watching as the tears gathered around those green jemas in his eyes, the angel had to admit how vulnerable and fragile he looked "But promise me you won't do it again" Dean sniffled still fighting with his emotions and he nodded quickly.

Everything was for his mission.

Castiel spread his arms offering him a hug that Dean didn't refuse, this time, carefully surrounding Cas as if he were made of glass and resting his jaw on his shoulder.  
Castiel rubbed soft circles on his back, it was his first time doing it and he hoped he was doing it well, as the killer said nothing he imagined it was good enough.

For no second it crossed his head that Dean was going to hurt him, he was also warm and smelled of leather and honey in his shampoo, made him feel overwhelmed and confused.

Dean was in love with him and under no circumstances would he miss that opportunity.

On the other hand… maybe he was starting to feel things that he shouldn't too.


	10. Chapter 10

Although Dean wanted to spend more time with Castiel, but he didn't want to talk about what had happened, but he wasn't satisfied with thinking that the angel had read between the lines and had understood what he wasn't able to put into words coherently, luckily Castiel suggested that he seemed tired and should sleep, he was right, he felt exhausted, tomorrow would be a different day, not to mention that he still didn't know how he should act with Castiel.

And yet he might have slept for about two hours that night.

The next morning Dean got up heading to the kitchen for a good cup of coffee, Castiel didn't show up nowhere, giving him time to get ready and take a bath to go to work.

The waiting seemed to be much worse than the confrontation, distracted all day and tired, what was he doing? He didn't seem to be himself, worrying about something so silly.

It was during lunch that he went out to eat at a nearby restaurant that Castiel finally decided to show up, sitting on the other side of his table.

"It's not good to eat so much junk food"

"It's good to see you too" He picked up the salt shaker that fell when he hit the table in a fright. Castiel stared at him without saying anything, too intensely to keep eating quietly "So…" Dean didn't know what to say either and wiped his mouth with a napkin, at least he could look less like a savage and more like a gentleman for Castiel.

"I was in heaven all morning " He explained, although Dean didn't know why he was telling him that.

"Oh and… How did you do?" Even though Castiel was an angel, he had never thought of heaven until now.

"My brothers don't know anything about our interactions or recent events" That look he gave him was very descriptive and Dean understood "But they could be watching"

"And would that be wrong?" He hadn't thought about how it would affect Castiel either, he had been a selfish bastard for a long time.

"Yes and no" Dean raised an eyebrow "My brothers wouldn't see it well, but they wouldn't do anything, they know that my circumstances are different"

"Different in what way?"

"More important Dean" He noticed the clear evasion on the subject, but when Cas got serious he preferred to ignore it "Last night we didn't talk, but you haven't told me why you kissed me, I want to know... if my conclusions about you were hasty or wrong" Dean looked to the table, feeling nervous and a knot in his stomach, anxiously rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

"I don't know what your conclusions were, but..." He was sure he wanted to look at Castiel when he told him "I... like you" What he felt for Cas wasn't attraction or desire, it was a genuine feeling of worry and happiness to be with him... or something similar, it made his days less boring and filled a part of him that he didn't know was empty, with warmth and comfort, it took him time to recognize how good it felt "That's why I kissed you, even if it was not the right way to do it"And he felt very ashamed of it. 

Castiel nodded and his lips turned into a tight line before answering.

"I already forgave you for that Dean, I..." Castiel began to look nervous "I don't... have experience with humans or... Angels, I never…" Dean felt like he couldn't contain a smile listening to the angel stammer and seeing him blush as he did so.

"Cas... It's okay" He switched for a smile full of confidence "It's also my first time" With a man "Give me your hand" Castiel hesitated, but extended his hand towards Dean, who held it gently and kissed his knuckles "You don't have to do something that makes you uncomfortable"

The expression on Castiel's face was charming and Dean didn't look away as they continued talking and finished his meal.

He made sure to make Castiel understand that they were both building something, although the use of the word boyfriend was somewhat vague, it still felt a bit weird to have a boyfriend and more than that he was an angel. To make up for the day before, she invited Castiel out on a date that night, he gave him the clothes he couldn't give him the day before to wear on their date.

…

Castiel had had fun that night, Dean took him out for ice cream and although he insisted it wasn't necessary, he soon regretted it when the cold sensation and creamy texture of the ice cream filled his mouth, although the molecules could ruin the experience, he thought less of chemistry and tried to think more about the flavors and the experience.

Seeing Dean smile so much and be happy, he seemed like a different person and that he preferred a thousand times more, because he was even more sincere than the Dean of before, there were no double-intention smiles or that abysmal shadow in the corners of his eyes. He taught him to bowling and to enjoy junk food.

Although Dean loved his car, they took a walk, it was a nice night to look at the stars, although cold, it made him miss his coat.

He didn't say anything when Dean took his hand, he wasn't looking at him, he just kept walking without paying much attention, he didn't mention anything when their fingers laced, it was warm and nice, but he did when they stopped and Dean tried to kiss him.

Castiel closed his eyes as Dean pressed his lips against his own and held her face in an attempt to be romantic.

"Dean" He whispered against his lips, remaining a bit stiff and unsure, he shouldn't get carried away, with his mind a bit blurred and his breath caught in his throat, it was true that Dean made him feel things that he hadn't felt before, things that confused him and made him forget his beliefs, but he shouldn't fool himself and believe that he could reach the brilliant soul that he had seen the first time they met, he didn't forget that person had his hand sliding down his neck, the things he had done, what he had seen.

"It's okay" He whispered in response, pressing his lips tightly again, if only it were true, the bitter truth still ate Castiel inside, for the man who was kissing with a new passion unknown to him, there was only one end.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to rewrite the chapter to make it better understood. Well… I don't think it worked and I had to cut things out.

Back at home they talked about how their first date had been for an angel, anticipating the end of this one, Dean determined not to end it with an insipid goodbye, leaned in kissing Castiel like a gentleman, didn't count on how addictive caresses could be.

Somewhere in Castiel's head, there was something that told him it was wrong, he shouldn't give in to the overflowing feeling of wanted to return each of his touches, but it was easier to give in than to fight, kissing Dean with more intensity and more desire, until his kisses left his swollen lips to stroke other places, his own neck was a sensitive area, especially when Dean tried to leave a mark.

"Do you have to go angel?" He whispered into his ear, before catching the soft part of this one between his teeth and giving a playful pinch, a pleasant cramp twisted Castiel's insides.

"I can't…"

"Please" He asked quietly, being more of a plea than part of the charm.

Castiel bit the inside of his cheek, wasn't it his job to make humans happy? Take care and guide them? He looked at the green eyes that shone hopefully, how could he refuse if all he saw was a fragile soul hungry for company?

"I won't do anything inappropriate" He promised, honesty was part of his smile.

"I trusted you Dean" Maybe it was those last words, maybe it was the honesty with which he said it or his hopeful look, whatever...

…

It was hard to believe that he had accepted, even looking at him lying on his back on his bed.

Dean slid over Castiel filling his naked chest with kisses, and like a religious man, he adored every inch of his body before stopping near his hipbone and looked into his lover's blue eyes, wide and full of lust, who was he trying to fool? He wanted this as much as he.

"You are beautiful." Dean's breath tickled his skin and he helped him spread his legs and place them on his shoulders.

"Dean" He was embarrassed to see him with his face close to his genitals, Dean hadn't touched him yet, he just gently bit the inside of his thigh. The unworthy sound that escaped his lips was enough to draw a pound smile on Dean's face.

"Are you feeling good Cas?" Castiel shook his head childishly, he shouldn't feel good, he was nervous and if he had to be frank a little scared, for various reasons, but he had felt warm and numb, the entire time that Dean had hugged and kissed him, just enjoying from the sensation of his skin brushing against his own "Isn't it bad to lie?" His green eyes ran through his figure to his half-hard cock "Can I? I know you need it Cas"

"Okay" He gasped in a shy and shaky voice, not believing that he was really giving in, he just had to yearn for the warmth of his body back for a moment "Dean!" This time he sounded even more torn than before when his boyfriend took him in his mouth, the pleasure that ran down his spine was unlike anything he had ever felt before "Stop!" It was too much, his mouth was warm and gentle as his tongue gently pressed tender points "Dean!" He felt that the retained tears slid down the corners of his eyes and his hands that did not find something to distract themselves so far, tangled the blond hair of his partner, while the pressure in his gut grew exponentially until exploding. 

Dean enjoyed the sweet sound of his name spoken so desperately, he couldn't imagine anyone else needing he as much as Castiel or being so brutally honest with what made him feel, Dean looked up at the bulb that had exploded and swallowed what was in his mouth to pull it out, ignoring the taste. The view was lovely, Castiel's chest rise and fell as he tried to regulate his breathing, his tanned skin glowing with sweat and the dazed expression on his face was one of pure happiness.

"Mmm… Cas, can you let me go?" He hated broke up the moment but his poor follicles were starting to hurt, it wasn't instantaneous but the angel let him go and when he finally seemed to remember where he was and what he had done, shame also adorned those already flushed cheeks. Dean smiled widely "That was short, we can work on it" He crawled back over his body, kissing his neck first, tracing a path of kisses to his lips "I love you" He didn't miss that he hadn't received an answer.

"I..." The words deformed into an ugly croak, he seemed to be about to cry, that anguish in his eyes squeezed Dean's chest, who filled him with more affection and comfort.

"I just want you to know" He said quietly, pretending that everything was fine and although what he said was true, a small piece of him was dying to hear the same words.

They both rolled onto their sides, face to face, Dean attracted Castiel to him surrounding his waist with an arm, he promised that he wouldn't do anything inappropriate, his plans were to rest and pamper his angel, but Castiel couldn't ignore it, not when he noticed that Dean was still half hard and he began to rub his hand against his boner, a little lazy and slow, but enough to convince Dean to push harder until he dirtied both of their bellies.

He didn't want to get up and clean.

"It wasn't that bad" Castiel admitted in a low voice, after being silent for a minute, he raised his head, cradling Dean face with this one, he wanted to see more of his expressions, more of the Dean that was hidden under that cruel and indifferent facade, who was considerate and gentle, who wanted to make him feel good and… who loved him, love was definitely the strongest feeling that shone in his eyes and in his soul.

"It could be a thousand times better, if you let me" He was a bit tired, but he wouldn't protest if Castiel wanted to...

"I can't Dean" Cas's thumb gently stroked his cheek.

"Why Cas? Sex is not a bad thing, is it because we are both…?"

"No Dean, of course not" He interrupted quickly, coming close to give him a quick kiss on the lips "I..." How to explain that he was afraid to admit his feelings? How had the person he had come to fear and hate changed him so much? It was embarrassing and he felt guilty "I need time" He needed to know if it was the right decision.

"All you need" He agreed, just had to be patient, he had never known how to be it, but for Castiel he would do almost anything.

He just wanted his angel to love him and he could be persuasive.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My vacation is over and I'm eating homework, morning, noon and night. I don't know when I can translate the last chapter, I hope not much.

Dean had an idea and it was stupid, but...

"Hey Sammy" Dean smiled naturally when his brother opened the door and frowned at him.

"Hi Dean, I really didn't think you would come when you called me" He stepped aside to let him in.

"What, you didn't want to see me?" He joked taking a look inside to find out if his brother didn't have a hidden girlfriend or something, it wouldn't be a surprise to see someone, he had arrived on very short notice.

"It's not that" He closed the door "But I've only seen you once, wake up before noon on your day off" He knew he was exaggerating, but he knew it had to be important if his brother had driven an hour on Sunday morning just to see him, with feline movements Sam slid next to him "It's too early to drink" And stole the pack of beer from his hands.

"Hey!" He complained watching him heading into the kitchen "I'm going to need that" Sam was putting them in the fridge, he couldn't be sober and talk about feelings at the same time.

"Later, I bet you haven't even had breakfast, do you want something?"

"Your rabbit food? No thanks" Sam pulled out his tongue and ignored him, in fact he didn't have much food that Dean was willing to eat.

"A peanut sandwich?"

"I appreciate it Sammy" Without arguing he sat at the table, although it had been almost a month, it felt as if they had not been apart for more than a day, he was comfortable, Sam was the only person he could get along with that way, well, now there was someone else.

They ate, Dean talked about his new job and Sam about the new person he had met, after breakfast the younger let him take one of the beers out of the fridge.

"So…" He spun the bottleneck between his fingers "Haven't you thought about starting to settle down?"

"I just asked her out Dean" He nodded, still not looking at his brother "I'm not the one who should settle down, what about you? You're getting old" Although it was a little joke, Sam didn't expect the answer from his brother.

"I…" He paused and drank the rest of his beer "I met someone too" It wasn't enough. He could practically feel his brother's gaze burning him.

"Really?" He nodded "And you… want something serious with that person? Is that why you asked me?" He nodded again, what he never expected to hear he was hearing at the time "Oh, I was happy for you, I would love to meet her"

"I'm dating someone, I didn't say we were getting married" He groaned and set the empty bottle on the small table in front of them.

"No, but whoever has managed to convince you deserves to meet her" His brother had never lasted more than a week with a person, always bragging about good sex without compromise.

Dean bit his lip and stared harder between his feet, if he was going to do it he wanted to do it well, Castiel was worth it.

"He…" Dean corrected and rubbed his face feeling the heat rising up his neck.

"What?"

"It's a he, not a she" There was a small silence before the younger's laugh interrupted it.

"Good joke Dean, you almost make me believe you" Sam thought it was also a good time to get up and grab a beer, but before he could stand up, Dean looked at him with that serious face of his that stopped him.

"I'm not kidding Sam, his name is Castiel" Admitting it like that, out loud and in front of his brother gave him a shiver that ran through his entire body, but with the look of disbelief on Sam's face, the tension could be cut with a knife.

"You know I don't care, I mean, I'm not dad, but you don't need my approval Dean, I just want you to be happy" It wasn't enough to make him relax in his chair, a part of Dean was breaking seeing his brother smile at him with affection and confidence, accepting a fragile part of him, he was sure his brother would never see him like that again if he only knew the truth.

"Thanks Sammy" A big smile across Dean's lips, it would have been too much for him to get up and give him a hug, even though he wanted it.

…

Castiel was called to heaven without warning, although he could have ignored it, things seemed to be fine with Dean, who had gone to visit his brother, he could take a break from his duties, with a flutter of wings, in a second he found himself in the gates of heaven and less time in the room where he was summoned.

When he came in, the angel who had called him turned, showing him a welcoming smile.

"What's wrong Michael? It seemed urgent"

"It's time Castiel" Castiel stopped frozen just a few steps from his older brother, looking at him with wide eyes before regaining his composure.

"But not yet... Dean's not ready, he's still a killer" It was too early, his time with Dean had been short and although he had noticed his influence on this one, he hadn't done a good work, there was still a lot to do, there was still more dates he wanted to go to. 

"An evil man who was captivated by the beauty of love, congratulations Castiel, I honestly didn't think you could get it, it must have been hard for you to endure it" Michael walked the rest of the distance between them and hugged him as if he was trying to comfort him "You showed that there is still hope in that man, that's more than enough "Castiel didn't return the hug, Michael didn't understand.

"Will he go to hell?" They parted and blue eyes gazed into the archangel's green ones.

"Of course he'll go to hell, only to a special prison, we don't want him to become the worst demon in history, that's what this is all about" He looked at him with those older brother eyes that still couldn't accept that the little angel had grown up, talking to him like a child.

Castiel clenched his fists and felt his throat and mouth go dry, he licked his lips in an attempt to make the words come out easier, it didn't work, he couldn't believe what he was about to do.

"Where is our father?" Michael looked at him in surprise.

"In the garden, why?" Castiel had left before he finishing that question.

…

"So… you want advice" After a few more beers, the atmosphere was even more relaxed between them, Dean nodded "You want advice to make him fall in love with you, but you already took him on a date, and both slept together…"

"We didn't sleep together" He interrupted kicking his brother's leg, that was not what he said, he and Cas... it wasn't sex compared to with what he had done with other lovers.

"Okay" He give him that bitchy face that made Dean smile while rubbing his sore leg "And both of you live together... Why do you think he doesn't love you?" He leaned his head confused.

"Well because…" He was an asshole "We didn't start off on the right foot"

"What did you do to him Dean?" He touched his chest dramatically offended.

"Samantha, it hurts that you think that of me"

"As if I didn't know you, the only people you treat with a hint of kindness are women" Dean knew he couldn't argue with that because it was true.

"It... hit him" He omitted more details, but it was enough, his brother looked at him disapprovingly.

"And you apologized to him but you don't feel like he completely forgave you"

"Not exactly" He felt that Castiel had already forgiven him, something very hard to believe, but not impossible for the angel, who hadn't forgiven himself was Dean, he could always try to apologize better for what he did, a little help wouldn't be a bad option, Sam sighed in an effort to contain his opinions.

"I can't help you"

"What?"

"I can't help you if you're not telling me everything, it's obvious that you did something really bad"

"That's all Sammy I'm an open book" Sam didn't believe him for a second.

"Dean" Sam was good at intuiting things, although not so good, the older one would have loved to be more honest and I gave him a soft look of sympathy for his effort, but it wasn't enough, Dean wasn't going to give in and the best he could do was evade him.

"I'm still a little hungry Sam, how about we go get some real food?" That would distract Sam, keep him from having to give more explanations and eventually his brother would calm up with some advice, or so he hoped "And another beer"

"You shouldn't drive" Like if he hadn't heard Sam, he was reaching for his wallet in his pants.

"It was three beers, Sam" Maybe four.

"I have chicken cutlet in the freezer, you can make some here"

"Not your healthy food again" Although it wasn't a bad idea, that was not the point, a little fresh air would also do him well, it had been too much girl talk for a day "Stay if you want, I'll be right back"

Sam was going to stand up to accompany him, however for some reason he didn't and looked out the exit confused seeing his brother leave, not understanding why he didn't go with him.


End file.
